Pete Christensen is a writer for 'The Scottsdale Airpark News', and 'Eat Fresh Arizona' (A healthy eating publication). He does comedy drop-ins for several radio stations nationwide, and had a television comedy walk-on role on the 'Sports Tonight' show.

Pete has performed with numerous Acts

Opened for; Dennis Miller, ELO, Louie Anderson, Larry Carlton, Billy Crystal, Bo Diddley,
Drew Carey, Lee Rittenour, John Stewart, B.B. King

Toured with; Pat Paulsen, Bo Didley, Steve Miller Band, Leon Redbone


Performed with; Doug Stanhope, Richard Elliot. Sister Sledge

Accomplishments

Directed, and hosted a weekly comedy/variety television program with WOBY TV-8 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Won the Wisconsin Area Music award for 'Broadcast/journalist' while with WMSE radio in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Awarded 'Broadcaster of the Year' from Arizona Farm Bureau while manager of KYET radio in Willimas, Arizona.

Produced, and hosted a weekly television program for eight years with KWBF TV-13 in Flagstaff, Arizona.

Awarded the 'Editors Choice' award for outstanding achievement in poetry by the National Library of Poetry.

Published the novel 'Musical Chairs'.

For bookings contact 'Hausner Productions' at (602) 686-6174

Emotional Recycling from the book "Undying Love"

"Emotional Recycling"

Dating, marriage, and divorce, the illusion, the delusion, and the dissolution. In today's throw

away society, marriage and divorce are far too easily obtainable. Proving once again that what

you get for nothing is good for nothing. And in the case of most marriages, you got far more than

your money's worth.

In some states you can legally get a marriage license before you can get a driver's license...and

with less requirements. Prerequisites for marriage should include a high school diploma, a lease

or mortgage, reliable transportation (this doesn't mean a skateboard with a lawn mower engine)

and the ability of both parties to pass a drug test.

This would give them something to lose from the minute they dip their ignorant toes in the

cesspool of martimonial bliss. It would also no doubt stop so many people from clogging up the

divorce courts just because she woke one morning to discover his middle aged spread had

transformed him from James Bond to James Gandolfini. Or because Mr. fertility couldn't keep

his sweaty little koala bear clenched hands off the bubble headed bleach blonde at the end of the

bar with matching bra size and I.Q.

Divorce should come with mandatory jail time and a fine of half of each person's assets to be

donated to the Hemophilia Foundation. Since some blood sucking divorce attorney from the firm

of 'Vampire, Viper, and Leach' has already bled you bone dry. It's only appropriate that

whatever miniscule drop of dignity you might have left pulsating through your bank account be

used to replinish the next victim.

Before divorcees could remarry, men would be forced to watch an 'Oprah' marathon with a

group of obese, menstruating, irate, lesbians. Women should have a sensor implanted with a

connection to a home speaker. Any time they felt any type of peace or tranquility a voice would

automatically screech "What's wrong? What are you thinking?"